i dont mind controversy. i dont mind haters. i dont mind people asking me questions. but i do mind people doubting me and questioning me. big difference there.

hmmm. what’s up, party people? despite my hectic schedule, i try my best to always read things carefully. sometimes, that means going back and reading things a second time. that’s what i did regarding the above passage, cited from tony pierce’s new site, lick. at first, i didn’t see the “big difference” between asking tony a question and questioning him, but after i thought about it, and after a comment he made on this site, i saw what he was getting at. he’s saying it’s OK to ask him to clarify a point, to clear things up or to reiterate—but don’t ask him to explain himself, as in who he is and what his core beliefs (or lack thereof) are about. as far as i can tell, that’s why he got pissy with Katie—because she questioned (among other things) if his shtick of playing host to a group girl blog was built upon good intentions. fine. he doesn’t want folks mistaking the content of the blog for the man who writes it. i can dig that. i, perhaps more than anyone, can see that “big difference”. which is why i was so surprised today when i went back to lick to see how/if he responded to a question i asked, only to find that not only had he not responded, but he had actually gone in and changed my comment, so that it now reads, “blah, blah, blah.”

that’s kind of funny, i have to admit. but i’ve still got to call it like i see it and that’s censorship, baby, pure and simple. i guess tp has every right to censor my comments—i mean, haloscam offers the option to do so, but i don’t understand why he did it, especially on a site that he’s been advertising as a kind of no-holds barred, free-range forum for opinion. i merely asked a QUESTION about the site, namely (and i’ll have to paraphrase myself here as i don’t remember my comment word for word) that i had checked out some of the sites listed on the right (those of the girls who have thus far agreed to write for lick) and i was wondering whether he was sure that they would really be able to handle the thinner air of the “next level” of blog writing. the implication, of course, is that for the most part, i don’t think they can cut the mustard. OK, fine. big deal. touché! argue against me! prove me wrong! or just play dumb like you usually do, but no, instead, homeslice went chickenshit and straight-up edited me.

and i was only asking a question!

i guess he thought a dissenting voice would be too hurtful for some of his poor, little chickadees to take. how sad is that? if the situation had been reversed, i would have used a comment like that as a call to arms. i would have rallied my troops with it—“see that, ladies, there’s some mad doubt out there, i want you all to go out there and SLAY”—but no.

i wonder how many other comments tony has edited? maybe a percentage of all those nice, glowing comments on the busblog originally started out as criticism, who knows?

and who cares, right? that’s what some people have told me. c’mon, they say, you can write him under the table with your eyes fucking CLOSED, why bother taking potshots? well, it’s true, party people. excuse me if i sound like an egomaniac but i do consider myself to be on a higher level than tony. not in all things. just writing. but what’s the point in puffing my chest? i used to read his site on the daily, and when the quality took a dip (after the whole kurt cobain/dead tony bit, which i thought was great) i stopped going back so often. big deal. i even left a comment wishing him well…so why stir up trouble, you might ask?

well, i’ve wondered myself and i’ll tell you: despite my façade of easy-going chillness, i really do give a damn about this whole blog thing. i think it’s an amazing tool of communication and creativity. right now it’s still a baby taking baby steps, but i think we’re witnessing the start of something big, something that has the potential to merge with video games and reality shows and wireless technology to make a really new form of interactive entertainment. i think that we who are out here now are the forerunners—the early adapters, and i’m referring specifically to the personal/creative/artsy blogs like mine and tp’s and any of the ones listed in my prop list. i think this type of blog has the most potential for interesting growth. the pundit/news blogs are great, but i don’t think there’s anywhere to go with them except to join with or become, Big Media. with personal blogs, i think the sky’s the limit. fuck it, they could change writing and reading as we know it.

i know that’s what i would like to see happen. those who’ve been reading this site know full well that i’m all about trying to raise the bar.

so i ask questions. i bug and i pester in an effort to keep people thinking, and pushing things forward. i see someone like tony pierce, who has a sizable readership, as being in the position of influencing blog trends, for better or for worse. that’s why i bugged him when he started his “send me money for a car” experiment. in exchange for a donation to the car fund, a person could have their site linked on the busblog. i asked, are you sure that’s a good direction for blogs to go in—paying to get their site linked? i didn’t throw a hissy, i didn’t lose any sleep trying to fuck with his site or any diabolical shit like that—i simply put up a red flag in his sea of shiny happy readers. the same went for his use of the word “gay” as an adjective describing something that was lame. i know lots of people use the word this way, it’s not an exclusive ‘tony pierce’ usage, but i wanted to (again) question him on it. he, who is so quick to call out the injustices he perceives in the world. he, who prides himself on being open-minded about people who are different than he is…i thought we could have a discussion. that never really happened, but he did write a post apologizing to whomever he may have offended amongst his gay/lesbian/Tran gendered readership, although at the time this did seem to be more of a way to shut me up than anything else.

a good thing that came of it, however, is that people who read our exchanges in his comment box emailed me to discuss the issue further. i met some cool people and discovered some great sites, which in the end, is all one can hope for.

(btw tp still regularly uses the word “gay” to describe things that are lame or negative)

so yeah, there were other, lesser incidents along the way, but whatever, you get the idea. regarding this current strife, i just want to make sure i’m not being misunderstood and then i’ll drop the whole thing quicker than a fat math rock beat over some arena power chords.

there were three main points i was trying to make by having this (by now) tiresome tete à tete with tony over lick:

1) i wanted to show support for katie’s view that women should be making all-women sites on their own, without the help of some dude. what’s wrong with the help of some dude, you might ask? nothing, just like there’s nothing wrong with a corporation with a male CEO, there’s nothing wrong with male fire chiefs and chefs and presidents and taxi drivers…nothing wrong at all, in and of themselves. what’s wrong is that so few women actually run shit in this world. i’m talking about being the top dog, head of command. there’s very little of that, party people. so why, of all things, should an all-women site be run/started/founded by a dude? again, nothing wrong with it in and of itself—but the question should at least be asked (and Katie was brave enough to ask it) “why don’t more women blog writers get their own thing going on?”

2) i wanted to point out that i think raymi is one of the best writers out there and it was like a half-dis to invite her to join a group of other, far inferior writers. i know that she and tony are cool—i certainly wasn’t trying to imply that they weren’t. it’s just that i know that, like me, tony recognizes raymi’s genius and gives her mad props on the busblog…which is why i thought he needed to represent on his new site and not just make her one of many. but whatever. for all i know she’ll join lick and it will be great and hugely successful for her. it was just my two cents, take it or leave it.

3) i also wanted to make some noise and get people thinking about the future of blogs and the so-called next-level that tony eludes to on lick:

tell your stories. tell them from your heart. have courage. and trust.

everyone will have psyedomns and some will have more than one. if you want to write something with your real name, fine. if you want to tell your deepest darkest secrets and remain anonymous, fine.

if you just want to kick ass all over the place, that will be accepted as well.

there will be a web site for longer and artier peices, there will be a blog for quickies.

no one will get paid unless the brinks truck backs up, and even then you might not get paid.

this is about making something head and shoulders better than whats out there, get rich at work. this isnt work.

fine! good! i like the vibe, spelling mistakes and all! i did not comment on this post. i did not QUESTION. i waited…until the list of ladies who were going to supposedly take us to this next level came out on the right. and for the most part they were not, i’m sorry to say, great or even good writers. i hadn’t even thought of the feminist angle, yet. Katie brought that up, and i’m glad she did. i was only thinking, damn, how are some of these chicks going to titillate when i’m bored senseless after one visit to their sites? but tony was nonplussed:

write whats missing in Lick.

write it in your own thing too if you want, but take it up another level for Lick.

if the people in your comments dont really like it when you talk about sex or politics or religeon on your blog, or if your mom reads it, or if your job reads it, write it in Lick.

if youre cheating on your lovah, if youre secretly digging justin timberlake, if youre silently loving the OC, tell us why.

um, yeah. that’s really what i see for the next level in this blog game. Justin and the OC. yes. because nothing has been written on those topics. you see, the busblog/lick’s brand of cool is the same as mtv’s brand of cool. there’s a lot of empty talk about transgressing the status quo, but in the end they are strictly and squarely there--at ground zero of "the norm". it’s about commodification, party people. i'm talking about the way in which soon, blogging is going to start making cash that somebody is going to get. and yeah, yeah, yeah, so what? don’t we all want to hit it rich? wouldn’t that be great? yes it would, but can’t we use the occasion of this new and original means of communication to come up with some new and original ways to make some cash? i’m not talking about little ten dollar donations, either. i’m talking about putting our heads together and making this blog thing HAPPEN. i’m talking about making a brand new form of art--for us, by us, so that when and if we do get PAID it won't be in a form of a check from the man. i'm talking about continuing to run our own shit, party people. yessssir. now you see my cards, now you see what i think is at stake. i’m not going to sit around and watch the whole thing turn into some bullshit-let’s-talk-about-sitcoms-lowest common denominator kind of story. it’s dangerously close to that as it is. fine, yes, tell me that i should mind my own business and that there’s more than enough room out there for me to do what i want and for the tony pierces of the world to do what they want. OK, yes. that’s the same thing they said about starbucks when it first started popping up in nyc. “oh, there will still be the local cafes…this isn’t the end of independently owned coffeehouses.” 8 years later and there’s one on every street, the idea being that the coffee you get uptown will taste exactly the same as the coffee you get downtown and isn’t that just great? isn’t that what we want—everything to be lame and the same? but fine, yes. maybe i’m just a paranoid freak—a Donna Quixote with a URL for a sword. fine, fine, fine. go ahead, let me have it.

i promise i won’t edit or delete any of your comments.

No comments: