adios sitemeter. checking stats is so 0-3. by removing the script and canceling my "account" (it was a free piece of shite, anyway) i'm hereby putting an end to all those lonely, wasted hours in which i find myself going from my site to my stats and back again in an endless, mindless loop as i wait around for something (anything!) to happen.

i love you guys, and i love your comments...they make me feel good...and the fact that there are many others who come here every day but don't say anything makes me feel good too...but like anything that gives me pleasure a little is never enough...i try to stay away and be normal about it but inevitably push comes to shove and i lose composure and hit the sitemeter stats like it's a crackpipe.

now that it's gone i'll have time at last to get to work on refining my webmd profile, which will allow me to make better, more comprehensive searches of the symptoms database and get a jump on all the secret diseases i might have.

as i think about it, it seems to me that by not having a sitemeter i'm making this site much more customer friendly. from now on y'all gotta make yourself heard if you want me to know that you're out there. otherwise you're as good as invisible, which i know is how some of you masturbators like it.

of course, the fact that most of you will still check your stats means that i have to still rely on all the old tricks that i perfected when i fronted like i was three people. the use of VPNs and IP switches...the collection of spare laptops and computer geeks at my beckon call...whatever it takes so that i can be covered to come back to your piece 300 times a day, to check back and see if anything has changed, without the fear that you might be on to my stalking ass.