To the friend to whom i want to write back but i need to think about my answer...

Here's the thing: I believe in getting seriously educated while yr still young. For those of us without access to high end public schools or expensive private ones, this is something that has to be pursued at home, in addition to whatever shoddy shitslime curriculum that's being slopped out in yr local cinderblock square where the halls are lined with bullies and indifference. If yr lucky enough to discover it, falling in love with the search for wisdom is a life altering experience. At that point you have a decision to make: how do you want to live yr life? What does it mean for you to have a good life? Philosophy is something best learned when yr mind is still open and u potentially have the energy and time to pursue it full time--the way it demands to be pursued. That's what I did. The trick is not to get tied into some ginormous commitment of years and years and/or become encumbered with a huge debt. For that, I say go to a country that still has a socialized education system (i went to belgium for three years) and do it on the cheap. But don’t do it on the easy. There was nothing easy about my education; I made damn sure of that.

Once you agree to go to a university, i think it's a waste to spend your time bucking the system. By willfully entering the world of academia you consent to play by its rules. I don't resent the way I was graded or reprimanded for having inspirations that directly challenged the accepted readings of the canon at which we threw our the strength of our intellects at, like so many lemmings shooting over the cliff...

I always felt hopeless--as though I were banging my head against it, which, I suppose I was. I loved philosophy. I made a two year commitment to it--telling myself I would do little to no creative writing or any other kind of art. I studied, all day, every day. I wrote essays and a thesis on Heidegger. I was pulled aside and privately called a genius by several professors two weeks before a panel of their peers tore my thesis apart and nearly failed me.

I wasn't asked into the doctorate program, but I had never had an intention to go there...one of the reasons i'd chosen the school in the first place was that it offered a terminal masters...

anyways, fuckit...this is just me thinking out loud.

about yr question.