"i had a good home"

im watchin the misfits with marilyn monroe and clark gable and it's sooo awesome--marilyn so sad and drunk and beautiful and in reno after getting a divorce and clark gable is the older cowboy father figure who falls for her and montgomery cliff is the slumming bull rider at the rodeo...it's too much, SHE'S too much...when she's playing paddle ball in the bar and her tits are shakin in her silk dress...the way clark gable hugs and holds her in these scenes and she's a little girl needing protection with sexiness just under the surface and how she respects her femininity and also the masculinity in the doods around her and it's all there, all the beautiful contradictions and she reminds me of raymi and then of myself and clark gable is like unrat and the way she says, "c'mon lets have lots of drinks" and her eyes get so horrified and tired looking at the same time, like she's aged only in her eyes, as the rest of her is a beautiful glowing porcelain perfectness and she looks up and says that if we truly love someone we can teach them anything we know how to do, we can give them our own abilities and it's something we should never hesitate to teach them, to be open and to share cuz in every moment we r dying, each moment takes us closer to the end and then it is too late.

and clark gables eyes are sparkling and saying there's no way a man can live if he's afraid of dying...

and later on, when clark gable whispers in her ear, "i'd marry u" she smiles so sweetly and says, "that's nice of u to say but u don't have to do that."