i am watching england vs. ecuador and the sound of the english fans chanting in the background makes my tummy turn a little as it reminds me of all those dark, scurry nites in london and oxxxy foxxxy when the pubs closed or after a match and the fights broke out. it's true there weren't any guns but i saw a dude's face in ribbons from a box cutter and another time a drunk and high woman came running at us for no reason, brandishing a long metal bar that she pulled from the side of the pram she'd been pushing, and left unattended on the corner, which may or may not have also contained a child...

the english are a tuff people with fucked-up teeth who dont front like they want to be yr friend. after living for a year and some out on that piece with all the cold and gloom and lack of sun and a dampness that pervaded the walls and the furniture and the joints in yr hands, i have no choice but to respect them. in the winter everything turns slick and slimey like it's covered in mold. put a couple in them and best belee the average brit will be crackin the verbal whip in yr unsuspecting face. we were intimidated because the english they spoke made them sound tons smarter than us, even when they weren't. they resorted to being mean and cruel when they couldn't win an argument. if they did win at something they were suddenly indebted to you, offering endless tea and booze and compliments. my experience seemed to confirm their past existence as conquerors and colonizers and destroyers. london is a helluva town tho. the clubs were like none i had ever seen.

god save the queen.

go ecuador.

xo

TRUE

p.s. it IS pretty lame when the soccer players act like big pussies when they fall down. i know it's cuz they're trying to get the call from the ref but u can't show that kinda display to an american football fan and expect them not to be like, pshhhhhhh.