i am bored and fucked up and sick of waiting for my man, who is always late (first thing you learn is you've always got to wait) so i'm killing time by clicking on blogs in the just updated list on blogger. there was one called "rocking with jesus" where i read about some born-again chick who talked about how she hated her school because they won't let her use MSN chat, and how hard it was to "witness" to catholics, who were so snotty and self-assured that by going to confession once or twice a year and sticking a piece of dried up wafer in their mouth every sunday they were going to get into heaven. yeah, right, i don't buy it either, hon, but i'll tell you i wouldn't mind going to confession right about now. i like the whole stylo of it, the vibe of repentance. i like how dark it is and how there's only this thin-ass screen separating your face from the face of this weird, quiet dude who's dressed all in black. you know i'd be pumping some depeche mode, surreptitiously (left ear only, right one's still fucked, btw). i'd cross myself real slow, just to emphasize how heavy with sin my heart is. fuck it, if i don't remember all the steps the dude will talk me through it, right? anyway, i'm not really going to go, mostly because the catholic church down the street only seems to operate in polish and it's raining out so fuck going any further than that. besides, my man should be here any minute.

first thing that makes me go to a blog is its name.

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