hey, man. i need your help.

hook me up with a plot for the film i'm doing today. i was supposed to come up with something but in the midst of the complete collapse of my personal life i totally forgot. my boy y&h and i are going to front like terrence malick and shoot during the "magic hour", that shimmering oasis of time, also known as twilight, in which the sun and the stars share a sky and light falls in fat, heavy beams across the hair and shoulders of the afterwork crowd.

terrence malick directed badlands, which is one of the best movies ever. can you imagine the production values needed if you're only going to film for one hour out of the day? jesus.

fuck it, folks. i know you've got the goods. porno is fine, but keep in mind i won't have someone to fuck, as i'm the only actor. y&h will be minding the camera and besides we tried sleeping together years ago and it didn't work.

hurry please it's already 3pm here in neu yuk.

remember the magic hour is only one hour long.

if y&h and i pick yr plot we'll give you mad credit and when i get famous you'll probably get rich.

i'll be sending the DVD out with the mix to all you lucky people who gave me your address.

oh and when i said to check your mail next week you knew i really meant the week after next, right?

right.