Two Receivers
The fever she is burning, the birds they are chirping...
Sick and stubbornly refusing to take anything except my usual girly smoke, I passed out early last night and ended up wide awake at 4 AM. There was a pleasant buzzing in my brain and though I still felt achy and congested, I no longer felt tired. I decided to stay up and hung out online as my blinds glowed a dark and then bright blue. The witching hour, i kept saying to myself. Normally I'm scared of the dark but I wasn't last night. I felt awake and alive--oddly refreshed like the other day when I walked out of the tiny Voodoo Museum on a side street in New Orleans. If I closed my eyes i could pull up the afterimage of several of the statues--terrifying as they were I wasn't scared, the afterimages glowed brilliantly in the dark neon against my eyelids and were, like the statues themselves, neither bad nor good but just THERE--wild and visceral and childlike and mischievous but no more evil than a hissing cat. They reminded me of people I'd partied with back in the day--grinning like maniacs with cigarettes and candy offerings piled all around them. They were like the skinny drunk gay boys out on the piers, gregarious demons that danced close to the wound-like opening where that which is hidden is just barely kept from oozing thru to that which is known.
Cuz let me tell ya these boyz had things that they wanted to teach us...
Dirty children from drunken mothers; the witching hour is the time for opposites to exist together: for purity and disgrace, the sinner and the chaste...It's a time of oneness, for things that can't be conveyed with words--for light that's not yet light, but enough of a grim force nonetheless to be able to part the darkness like thick hanging drapes over the leaded glass of a dive bar window.
The hazy time when Saturday nite becomes Sunday morning
The feeling of being so close yet still so far from God...
(A receiver inside me was switched on high. My right ear was ringing.)
Later, a little after 6, i was racked with deep joint aches and sweaty fever chills before i
finally managed to fall asleep again.
Do you see the moon?
Well, it sees you...
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