There is the knowledge that what I’m doing takes time but this means that even if I’m working very hard nearly every day, it’s still going to take a long time to get where I want to go. If I slack and spend less time working than it’s going to take even longer. Not to mention all the “unforeseen unknowables”: a major artistic undertaking is like a war—you want to make sure you’ve won before you start, but part of the way to do this is to take into account that which you can’t take into account.

How better to vibe out the “unforeseen unknowables” than to stare into space, stoned, for hours on end?

You wanna keep yr edge: u feel yrself getting older and u think of the people younger than u who have made it, and by making it I mean one thing and one thing only: getting to do yr art full time. Dropping the motherfucking need for a paycheck. I don’t care about being rich…I care about being one of those lucky bastards (few and far between) who don’t have to wait tables or dick around as an office monkey or strip or freelance bullshit jobs writing for medical journals and technical manuals, teaching languages, selling drugs.

Then u tell yrself, yeah but I went to school longer than they did and that’s cuz I’m not playing three chords on a guitar and writing lyrics off the cuff…I’m trying to invent a whole new kinda art in the form of an invisible MC who lives on the innernet and is available only thru viral mediums.

Then u tell yrself, maybe tomorrow...

And tomorrow comes and then tomorrow after than and u tell yrself,

maybe never.

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