Post Secret

When I was growing up my nickname in my girl gang was “Stupid White Girl” cuz I was so fucking gullible.

My schtick was to sit in the backseat and chime in with a sing-song, “Really?” or “Holy Shit!” after someone said something totally outside the realm of possibility. Then everyone would crack up for what seemed like hours.

Luckily, I made up for this with an uncanny ability to read people’s feelings—I knew their insecurities and how to best exploit them and I offered up these gleanings as communal fodder for the crew.

They used my insight to make bitches look real stupid as they stole their boyfriends and dissed them till they cried.

“It’s like u can read their minds”, my girls would slur, when they were drunk enough to show their awe.

“Nah…,” I explained, my pale cheeks turning bright pink from being considered good at something…

“It’s just that I, like, notice the kinda things people try hard to keep hidden.”