im in florida, AKA the redneck riviera, where the poundage is on display and the "on the light side" page of the hotel menu includes a black angus cheeseburger. which reminds me of drunken hijinks back in the day in england, when i stood on someone's shoulders to knock out the bulb that lit the "g" on a black angus steakhouse sign on high street in oxxxy foxxxy. oooh those were the days. not.

one useful thing i learned down here is that MILF does NOT stand for Maiden In Lesbian Finery. i realized something was up when i saw a 15 year old girl wearing a "Future MILF" t-shirt and she looked at me like i had 9 heads when i shouted, "rock on, sister!" and proceeded to ask her what she was waiting for...

the future is now! i told her before she mumbled something about her friends waiting for her and took off as fast as her candy red flip-flops would carry her, leaving behind the sweet scent of her lemongrass after sun spray...

thank god for google.