im not TRUEBOY
it's weird cuz now there are people i know in real life who i met thru my innernet and they call me TRUE sometimes and when they do i'm reminded of the three characters i created and all the adventures i invented for them and the fact that each one was a version of myself, but as such they were/are fiction and NOT REAL but the fact that there is now only one and she shares my face in pix and we have the same look in our eye and curl to our lip has confused things and blurred certain lines that were clear in the sand when i pretended to be 3 people...cuz im pretending a lot less now but still pretending some...
the great promise of blogging lies somewhere ahead of me--where the person that u r in real life and the person that u r on the innernet intersects and a whole new person is formed
im not TRUE...she is braver than i am sometimes, when im feeling sick on the train and i rest my forehead on my cool hands and wish someone was there to hold my head and tell me it was gonna be ok and i think to myself, what would TRUE do? how can i play this chill like TRUE and just wondering about it is almost enough to make it happen--the balance shifts and the light changes
i'm different and the world is different tho nothing has actually happened.
it's like cubism: a freeze frame of the depths of my love is revealed.
from me to me
this blog is where i tell all my secrets but i lie about the non-secret stuff.
im playing the game version of myself
against other game versions.
im not TRUEBOY
well, maybe sometimes i am
just before i fall asleep...