Everything in here is TRUE...

today i googled the name of the guy who raped me years ago and found that he works a couple of blocks away from where i do, in a skyscraper where he has a job that is uncannily similar to mine. oddly enough, i'm not surprised by these coincidences. all this time i felt him nearby--every day for years i've turned corners on city streets expecting to literally run into him. i don't know why i waited so long to type his name into that search bar. i guess i was too overwhelmed by fear, tho it would have made sense, from a safety and well-being standpoint, to have confirmed his whereabouts so that i could steer clear, but "sense" is never something i've had when it comes to him--my former best friend and partner in crime. i've gone thru the last couple of years putting myself back together after what he did to me and what i in turn did to myself to prove that i deserved it. i played out tons of shit on this site, always careful (especially in the beginning) to never give a clear indication of who or where i was, just in case he was tuning in.

i wrote as three people as a way of playing out the past, but also as a way of keeping it at bay.

i was trying spin gold out of hay, instead of lighting that shit on fire and letting it BURN, BURN, BURN.

now, for the first time, i feel like i'm ready to blog ferreals...

hi, everyone.

my name is TRUE.

the ferreally

real bloggers

are real

even when it hurts like fuck.

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