jesus christ had an anti-theft device on his MIND.

i think i've been getting mad traffic off this pic. since i don't have a sitemeter, there's no way to know fer sure, but lil blog babies from all over the world have been dropping me lines telling me how much they liked it and asking how i did it and if it was photoshopped, etc, etc. well, i gotta confess...it's not my pic. sterling posted it on mrtt and included the link to the website hamandcheez, where it came from. i don't know anything about it, but my guess is that it was not photoshopped...u could prolly make something like this by cutting out a pattern of holes in a piece of black construction paper and sticking the little xmas lights in them. but be careful-- fuckin around with arts and crafts can take up a lot of valuable time that u could otherwise be wasting...

it's much faster to rip shit off, cut and paste style.

like the overly repetitious, drug-addled choruses to random sixties songs:

jesus is just alright by me

jesus is just alright.

jesus is just alright by me

jesus is just alright...

cuz u know what...he IS alright by me. jesus. as a dude...the jewish dionysius, half-man, half-amazin--public enemy number ONE with his dreads and his chilled-out demeanor and his bad-ass pierced wrists. he didn't sit with the conservative religious jerks who wagged their horny fingers at everyone else and fronted like their shit didn't stink...nah. jesus was fer reals. he hung with the hookers and the tax collectors and the three time losers and when he rolled up to the spot he came CORRECT with the wine, the fish, the multi-grain bread...jesus was bout it. he and his gang of friendless wanderers traveled the countryside, telling whoever would listen about the power of love...real, unselfish love, the kind u give without expecting any back...and by "not expecting" jesus meant REALLY not expecting, i.e., not just TELLING yrself not to expect anything back. same with charity...don't give yr time or yr money if yr secretly hoping to get that "im a good person" buzz off it. cuz yr never really good. even in yr good moments, all the dirty deeds u did are piled around u like empty album covers that u can no longer find the records for.

jesus was not a christian. the dude im talkin bout had nothin whatsoever to do with that religion shit.

that's just one more thing they pinned on him, after the fact.

i'll tell ya somethin: sometimes i try to pray to jesus. i'm never sure what i should say, though. i hardly feel like i'm in a position to ask for anything--it's kinda like what would happen to me back in the day, when i used to play ouija board. once i'd finally convinced someone to get into the closet with me and sit cross legged and CONCENTRATE i'd discover that i didn't have a thought in my head about what i should ask and i'd instead spend my time fidgeting around and staring at the other person and inspecting my nails and the shape of my thighs as i sat indian style.

sometimes i'll try to pray, get distracted and ferget all about it.

then i find myself apologizing, which is pretty lame, if you think about it.

apologizing to god. ha.

so mostly i just ask for help, over and over...

not for anything specific, just help, in general.

lots of it.

like, you know, a double shot.


(thank-u, drive-thru!)


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