there have always been blogs, there will always be blogs. blogs have been around since the beginning of time, since the first scalping, the first bear rug the first telephone call and the first big mac.

blogs are like the salt shakers and little aluminum ashtrays next to the fake flower in the 99 cent vase that you use to stare back at yr puffy ass eyes.

and blogs are dying all the time: every time you wait a little longer to update, every time you go on vacation, every time you loose your connection, lines of javascript break off and float into the abyss like rust hairy chunks of the titanic…until there’s a web inside the web of corpses and flickering half-lives…stations along the road leading to nowhere…

the internet is for losers.

I imagine an intergalactic tourist looking down at this cloud of stupid ass political commentary, junkie war stories and cybersex fantasies and remarking,

“and here you can see the irrevocable proof that western civilization has indeed rounded the corner and headed into its final lap…”

the other week I was in a piss poor mood and toyed with the idea of putting up a list of sites I’ve managed to shut down during my illustrious blog career. mind you, none of us at BTB have ever purposely gone and fucked up anyone’s shit, except for the time fitz and I were fighting and he managed to hack into my profile on blogger, but that was only because he got his hands on my laptop. sere i play rough with folks and i always carry the verbal whip--but none of that tit for tat shit has resulted in someone quitting their shit. nope, on the contrary, I got along famously with the authors of the sites that actually shut down. we were like, friends, almost. friends who had never met. but then something happened. assumptions were made, lines crossed and shit got said…about how they couldn’t handle it, about how they might be in love with me, or sterling…about how they can’t tell fact from fiction and it’s fucking with their head, even though I’ve come out and shown my hand and offered to answer whatever questions they have. somehow it’s not enough. they tell me I’m sending out secret signals, subliminal messages that only they can hear—that I’m fucking with their heads, but the truth is, I’m not desperate or needy enough to satisfy their egos—they want me to want their words in the exact same way that they want mine. they call me selfish and cold and pure as the driven snow while they are the ones who refuse to accept me for the way I am.

which hurts, fer real…

cuz y’all are the only ones who can appreciate what I’m trying to do here. the few folks on the outside who I’ve told about the blog are usually pretty dismissive. “so what are you going to do with it?” they ask, and I’m like, I don’t know. nothing? “but how are you going to make any money off it?”

I won’t, I answer, and they look at me like I’ve got two heads.

but I know I’m right.

I know there’s a next level to this shit—I can feel it, I just can’t see it...

yet

when all hope is lost I’ve got my day ones to keep me strong. although I’ve connected with everyone on the prop list, those three are the only bloggers I “regularly” communicate with. Jamie in person and on the phone, anti on IM and raymi through telepathic mind hump…

one love, you guys.

also big ups to my boy IDEA, who I met on memorial day. we had breakfast @ 3 in the afternoon, holiday style.

welcome to the circle of trust, my Motown amigo.


in other mindfuck news, I told this asshole I was going to send him poop in the mail. I was being metaphorical, of course. at any rate, I’m like, blocked from the site right now, so can someone let me know if there are new developments? I hope my comments are still up, they are hi-lar-ious.