I want to apologize to everyone who was checking for me last night

Sorry Sterling. Sorry Fitz. Sorry World.

I was up and ready to do that chat shit, but I thought I’d have a little somethin’ somethin’ right before and that turned out to be a mistake.

You ever have a smoke and the second it fills your lungs your mouth gets this chemical taste in it and a signal goes off (quick, the yellow phone!) and you’re like, “oh, I shouldn’t have smoked that, I really really really shouldn’t have smoked that…”

I had to lie down. My legs twitched uncontrollably, like those of a beetle stuck on a pin. I kept wringing my hands, pulling the hell out of them as though that would get the evil out.

And there is evil, party people. We all doubt it, because the very nature of this evil is to make us believe that all we have to worry about is the passing of time, (if I do everything right, I’ll be safe) the petty obligations and stupid preoccupations of one day flowing into the next. The evil makes us dutifully fill out entire calendars of days with the promise that we’ll be magically flushed forward into some vague thing called the future.

Party people, open your eyes and get out of your head.

There is no future. There’s only this breath.

There’s only this accidental heartbeat.

Ask yourself, is this the life I want—right now, in this moment?

Ask yourself before your thoughts are hopelessly scattered,

Like white pebbles shot out from under spinning wheels

On one of these majestic English driveways.