I fucking suck at IM. My brain’s all dyslexic and I can’t type quickly without making a ton of mistakes. It’s embarrassing. Like anything I suck at, I try and steer clear of it. But since I left Arizona and came to Amsterdam, that little 12 yr old whore cunt genius, (I gave her the name, “Trixie”) has been emailing me every day, begging me to IM with her. I wrote back, long rambling messages that I thought would satisfy her but she wasn’t having it. I even called her once, getting about 8 minutes in there before the card ran out, but she started in with the pleas the very next day. Apparently, she has friends all over the world that she keeps in contact with this way. By her own definition, she’s a master at the form. Whatever, it’s in two parts. I fixed some of the more glaring fuck-ups with spelling and whatnot. Here’s the first “transcript”:

Yerbluetoy says: I see you used the name I gave you as your tag.

Trixietreat: yeah, so?

Trixietreat: isn’t that what everyone does—use the name you give them?

Yerbluetoy says: only Fitzcarraldo, but who cares about him.

Trixietreat: what happened? All of a sudden you hate him or something?

Trixietreat: like hot to cold?

Yerbluetoy says: long story, let’s talk about something else

Yerbluetoy says: I was never hot.



Trixietreat: you make up all this fake mystery. Why don’t you just get things out in the
open?

Trixietreat: you expect people to put up with your druggie moods

Trixietreat: …or maybe you’re just scared

Yerbluetoy says: think what you want

Yerbluetoy says: listen, if this is going to be about berating me I’ve got better things to

Yerbluetoy says: do

Trixietreat: k




Trixietreat: so what are you doing in Amsterdam, anyway. Business or pleasure?

Yerbluetoy says: You know I work hard, play hard, baby.

Trixietreat: I know you do a lot of drugs.

Yerbluetoy says: that’s just to get the machinery going upstairs, spark a fire—

Yerbluetoy says: knowwhatimsayin?

Trixietreat: that “fire” metaphor doesn’t work so well with coke

Trixietreat: weed is one thing…

Yerbluetoy says: whatever girl, it’s all good.

Trixietreat: you’re a junkie, just like my dad

Yerbluetoy says: o no, a junkie is a smackhead. I haven’t touched that shit in years.

Trixietreat: I know what a junkie is.

Yerbluetoy says: And I never got deep with it, like sterling did.

Trixietreat: You’re always comparing yourself to her, to try and show how you’re not so
fucked up

Yerbluetoy says: I’m just blowing off steam.



Trixietreat: you’re fucking up your brain, you know that—you’re going to have
Alzheimer’s when you’re older and shit your pants.

Yerbluetoy says: with all the cigs you smoke you’re going to get lung cancer by the time
you’re 40.

Yerbluetoy says: and all those dicks in your mouth can’t be healthy, either.

Trixietreat: you smoke too!

Yerbluetoy says: yeah, but not like you

Trixietreat: what, did you get high and forget?

Yerbluetoy says: you’re so young and skinny those Marlboros look like mini penises in
your mouth.

Trixietreat: what’s this obsession with me and dicks?

Yerbluetoy says: you tell me, babyho.

Trixietreat: you know you left a sweat stain on our couch

Yerbluetoy says: what couch

Trixietreat: the orange scratchy one, in the living room

Trixietreat: there’s a stain where your ass was and at the top

Yerbluetoy says: what! what the fuck that shit was totally fucked when I got there.

Trixietreat: maybe those 8 balls make your tits sweat



Yerbluetoy says: what is that shit, circa 1973? It’s seen better days, hot pants.

Yerbluetoy says: give me a break I hardly ever sweat.

Trixietreat: you do. it smells good though, like milk

Yerbluetoy says: this sux

Yerbluetoy says: I’m taking off

Trixietreat: I think you’ve got a lot of problems, TRUE

Yerbluetoy says: sure

Trixietreat: I think yr biggest problem is that you love having problems

Trixietreat: you use them as an excuse to avoid work

Yerbluetoy says: wow. deep.

Trixietreat: you’re greedy you want it all

Yerbluetoy says: how old are you again

Trixietreat: you want to get away with murder

Yerbluetoy says: damn straight.



gungirlz