10.18.2002

One time, too many...so far, to go...

I didn't come home last night. That wasn't the plan, it just happened. I'm sorry Fitz, if you worried. But last night opened my eyes...

I met some real bad people. We ended up in Harlem, 7AM with the curtains drawn. Everyone sat around the living room, doing drugs, while the host talked about his chemical regimen. He's a grad student, and it's important for him that he "keeps just the right mix" of pills, coke, booze and grass. I retreated to a room down the hall with bunk beds. I climbed up to the top one and scrawled the following on a paper bag.

"My goal is to stay human. Once you are a vampire you can never turn back. You leave your family and friends. You stay out all night and sleep all day. You stop eating, except for Cap N' Crunch, Royal Ginseng Jelly, black coffee, Diet Coke, blood, Scotch and aspirin.

One of the first symptoms is that cocaine doesn't work anymore. Your hair becomes coarser…

…I ain't got no money,
And I ain't got no head
I'm hoping to quit but this planet is LOW.

It’s important to love yourself in a real way. You can’t be weak and you have to stick up for yourself. You’ve got to have your own favorite bands and be able to back it up. If you know your spot and go out and prove it, you can sometimes last for a while with a crowd of vampires--but sooner or later you get tired."

The titanium's running out of juice. I'm in the lobby of the Hyatt, next to Grand Central. They've got big plush chairs and free newspapers. I'm going to take a nap now. Manifesto's on its way--I just need to sleep this off.

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