1.20.2005

Justify My Thug (after Jay-Z)



goddamn.

it’s the four winters after mix, right here.

four winters after Brooklyn. four winters after the towers. four winters after that monkey first took power…

(and now he’s back again)

four winters after i got sober. a whole college-time worth of being straight, which is funny because i never went to college.

what does it mean to me—this passage of time between the fucked-up me and the not fucked-up me?

the world, motherfucker.

it means the world to me.

it’s the difference between playing myself and playing the hand i’ve been dealt…

it’s the difference between being led and being the leader…

im standing on the bridge with my hood pulled over my eyes

i smell like women and marijuana

even though i don’t smoke.

I’ve got my celly and the city and the sunrise

lemme justify my thug on this one right here…


watch me glide down the hall with my boys in tow

watch me rock n’ roll to a hip hop beat

lurchin like the lurch i am. with my hands curled into fists in my pockets

my fake ass fingers hard like rocks

do yourself a favor, and don’t take the punch just because im a girl

because im going to hit you with everything i’ve got

and more importantly

with everything i DON’T.

all the emptiness and the yearning and the fear of loss

the spots i got where you can plug in

where you can tell me everything

cuz i aint never gonna tell anyone

(and i never will)

ah…i know i got you thinking bout all the things i said

i know i’ve got you thinking bout all the things we did.

the way i took you and then you took me…

yeah, I bitch about being so many girls’ first

but deep down it’s an honor to have been given

a version of their virginity

for me to hold their hand and smooth their hair

for them to look at me like im daddy…



(how you do it)

you stay movin, thru the jungle

you keep your eye on the prize

the green or whatever it’s gonna take

TRUE will be the voice

i’ll be the motion

she’ll make the rhymes

while i mix our communal mind

with beats from another universe

so we can put our heads together

(you, me, us)

start a new country…and justify my thug.



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